How To Make A Christmas Cake, Part 1

I don’t know about where you live, but here in Boston we are stating to leave fall behind us. The days are becoming chilly, the nights are downright cold, and there isn’t a single leaf left on a tree anywhere. As the season turns from fall to winter I’ve started thinking about that most amazing of holidays that’s just around the corner: Christmas. 😍🎄

If you’re looking for How To Make A Christmas Cake, Part 2, click here!

OK, OK, OK. Before you leap from your laptops and announce that everyone starts to celebrate Christmas way too early bear with me: I am well aware that mentioning Christmas before Thanksgiving is sacrilege. I actually am 100% on board with this general rule. Growing up, Thanksgiving itself was permission to start talking bout Christmas, to listen to Bing Crosby singing about “sturdy trees” that don’t mind the snow, and to prepare for the thrill that was making it to the stores before 11am when the Black Friday sales would come to an end (remember those days, anyone?).

But there is one giant exception to my no-Christmas-before-Thanksgiving rule: A Christmas Cake. Because NOW is the perfect time to make one.

In case you don’t know what Christmas Cake is I’ll break it down for you: It’s fruitcake. The most delicious fruitcake you can imagine. Far more fruit than cake, it’s fed once a week for a month or so with alcohol; layered with apricot jam; covered with a thin layer of marzipan; frosted with royal icing, and decorated from there as you see fit.

Now, before you brush me off by saying “but I don’t like fruitcake” or “I thought the only way to get one of those was to have it shipped by my great-aunt,” hear me out: A real, homemade, fruitcake is delicious. It’s not at all hard to make (if you can toss fruit in alcohol you’re well on your way), and you’ll be taking part in a time-honored tradition leading up to the holidays.

“But why NOW?” You ask. “It seriously isn’t even Thanksgiving yet!” And this is true. But now is exactly the time to make your fruitcake. As anti-American as this sounds the cake needs some time to age. It won’t mold, I promise you. Fat and sugar are both natural, time-honored, preservatives and there are plenty of both in this cake. Moreover, you’ll keep the cake tightly wrapped and in a cool location (like your pantry or your basement) and you’ll “feed” it every week with with alcohol. The weekly dose of booze not only gives the cake a GLORIOUS old-world flavor, but it’s fun to do and it will ward off any harmful bacteria that could come along. Think of this practice as the delicious equivalent of an alcohol swab.

If you’re really concerned abut aging your fruitcake and you want to push back against me on this one you could always make the cake the week of Christmas (when you’ll clearly have AMPLE TIME to bake a massive cake 🙄), but I don’t recommend it. The nice people of the UK have been making Christmas Cakes like this for generations and no one has ever fallen ill because of one. Google “Fruitcake poisoning” if you like. The only results you’ll find are a woman who put rat poison in her husband’s fruitcake (Merry Christmas?!?!) and several stories of people who have rushed their dog to the vet after the dog ate their fruitcake. Fair warning: boozy fruitcakes are, apparently, bad for dogs.

On the flip side, if you want to be REALLY traditional you’ll save a scrap of this year’s cake and use it in next year’s cake. I’m not kidding. That’s a thing. I won’t be doing this but again, if you want to be REALLY traditional, you could.

I cannot claim credit for the base of this recipe, I borrowed it from Felicity Cloake of the Guardian, Merry Berry of the Bake-Off, and Delia Smith, patron saint of British home cooks. It is not identical to any of these ladies’ recipes, but credit where credit is due, they were my direct inspiration.

I had a few issues with their basic recipes though. A few things needed to be tweaked, some ratios needed to be adjusted, and both vanilla and salt needed to be added. Why the Brits refuse to put flavor enhancers into their baked good is beyond me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Some of the ingredients that are readily available in the UK are not so readily available in the States, but there are very acceptable substitutions plus a few tips and tricks you can employ to mimic everything you can get across the pond. UK plain flour has less protein than American all-purpose flour, so we need to make a quick adjustment to our flour to even that out (this is done with cornstarch). And then there’s the alcohol. Felicity calls for whiskey; Mary and Delia both ask for Brandy; Lyndon prefers rum. As rum is incredibly cheap — and we happen to have a 1.5 liter bottle just sitting unused in the cupboard because honestly, who ever drinks rum? — I went with rum. Truth be told you could use any brown liquor you want: rum, bourbon, whiskey, scotch (if you really wanted to get fancy). It’s up to you. Just stick with one liquor once you’ve started the cake.

Prepping and baking the cake is a 2-day process, but it’s not overly difficult. It just requires a little planning. Gather and soak your dried fruits, weigh out your dry ingredients, and wash and line your cake tin the night before you bake. The next day preheat your oven, grease your cake tin, mix up your batter, and bake away. After that you’ll let the cake cool, feed it with alcohol, wrap it up, and put it away someplace dark and cool for a week. Each week you’ll unwrap the cake, feed it with some more alcohol, and wrap it back up again.

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